Shame didn’t protect me. It erased me.

It taught me to hide - everything.

My habits.
My feelings.
Myself.

🚬 I hid when I used to smoke.
🍷 I hid how often I used to drink to 'switch off' from work.
🏳️‍🌈 I hid that I was gay.
😰 I hid that I experienced daily panic attacks.

I hid anything and everything that could expose me to judgement…

I convinced myself:
“If people knew about these things, they would turn away.”
“If I could just keep up appearances on the outside, I’d be okay.”

But here’s the funny thing:

🔹 I once snuck behind a building to smoke hoping I wouldn't be seen - and ran into a work mate doing the exact same thing (we both laughed).
🔹 I once kept my sexuality hidden in a conversation for fear of judgement - only to learn that the person I had been talking to was also gay.
🔹 I once thought sharing my anxiety with a colleague would cost me my job - only for them to later reveal their own mental health battles.

Shame keeps us believing we’re alone. Isolated. Defective.

But shame lies.
It doesn’t protect us.
It disconnects us - from others and from ourselves.

As Brené Brown says, "it derives it's power from being unspeakable.”
And once I started speaking - little by little - everything began to shift.

Today, life feels lighter.
I feel more like me.
Even writing this post publicly? That says a lot.

I’m still on this journey - choosing to show up instead of shrink back.
Some days, it feels easier. Other days, it takes a lot.
It’s a daily practice. A quiet rebellion. The return to self.

But every time we show up - fully, honestly - we honour who we are.
We teach ourselves (and others) that it’s safe to be seen.
And really, that’s all most of us want.
Here’s a photo of me and my pup on a walk - no hiding, just being 🐾👇

Ultimately, we can’t thrive and hide at the same time.

And so if you’re carrying shame, I want you to hear this:

✨ You’re not the only one.
 ✨ You’re not too much.
 ✨ You’re not broken.

You’re just human.
So please be kind to yourself.