Shame didn’t protect me. It erased me.

It taught me to hide - everything. My habits. My feelings. Myself. 🚬 I hid when I used to smoke. 🍷 I hid how often I used to drink to 'switch off' from work. 🏳️‍🌈 I hid that I was gay. 😰 I hid that I experienced daily panic attacks. I hid anything and everything that could expose me to judgement… I convinced myself: “If people knew about these things, they would turn away.” “If I could just keep up appearances on the outside, I’d be okay.” But here’s the funny thing: 🔹 I once snuck behind a building to smoke hoping I wouldn't be seen - and ran into a work mate doing the exact same thing (we both laughed). 🔹 I once kept my sexuality hidden in a conversation for fear of judgement - only to learn that the person I had been talking to was also gay. 🔹 I once thought sharing my anxiety with a colleague would cost me my job - only for them to later reveal their own mental health battles. Shame keeps us believing we’re alone. Isolated. Defective. But shame lies. It doesn’t protect us. It disconnects us - from others and from ourselves. As Brené Brown says, "it derives it's power from being unspeakable.” And once I started speaking - little by little - everything began to shift. Today, life feels lighter. I feel more like me. Even writing this post publicly? That says a lot. I’m still on this journey - choosing to show up instead of shrink back. Some days, it feels easier. Other days, it takes a lot. It’s a daily practice. A quiet rebellion. The return to self. But every time we show up - fully, honestly - we honour who we are. We teach ourselves (and others) that it’s safe to be seen. And really, that’s all most of us want. Here’s a photo of me and my pup on a walk - no hiding, just being 🐾👇 Ultimately, we can’t thrive and hide at the same time. And so if you’re carrying shame, I want you to hear this: ✨ You’re not the only one. ✨ You’re not too much. ✨ You’re not broken. You’re just human. So please be kind to yourself.

Originally published with the Rainbow Coaching Collective.